


Trying

by AmandaG96



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: Discovery
Genre: Anger, Baby, Comfort, F/M, Fertility Issues, Tears, TryingForABaby, fertility treatments, frusteration, vomitting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-25
Updated: 2020-11-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 07:28:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27709748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmandaG96/pseuds/AmandaG96
Summary: For Sarek and Amanda, trying for a baby was not fun and games.
Relationships: Amanda Grayson/Sarek
Comments: 2
Kudos: 25





	Trying

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Bmhobbs96](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bmhobbs96/gifts).



> To my dearest sister, I know one day, it will all be worth it. I love you forever and always.  
> ((Yes, I received her consent for posting and gifting this work to her.))

**May 2229, 06:00AM**

He could sense her deep sadness through their bond as he ended his morning meditation. Opening his eyes, he had felt centred and rose to his feet, and then went into their bedroom, expecting to find Amanda in bed.

She had been unwell due to various fertility treatments. When she was not vomiting, she was sleeping; and when she wasn’t sleeping, they were working, and when they weren’t working, they were trying to conceive a child. While she normally enjoyed engaging in mating, he felt through their bond that it was becoming more like a chore for her with a lot of mixed emotions, most of which Sarek couldn’t even place. 

Turning to the right, he found her in the bathroom, sitting on the floor holding something white in her hand. He called her name lightly, but she didn’t move. The closer he got to her the more he realized that she was crying.

When he looked down at the white cloth in her hand, he saw that it was her underwear and the stain of scarlet red in the sea of the white.

“Not this month.” She said softly, which only caused more tears to fall down her eyes.

“It is my understanding that these things take time.” He told her flatly.

“It’s been months!” She exploded. He could feel the anger radiating through their bond. She wiped her cheeks and tried to sniff away falling tears as she looked up at him, “I’m sick!” She cried, “I’m- tired! I’m-“

Through her tears she began to gag and she turned her head into the toilet bowl. Her sadness hit him like a ton of bricks, and Sarek could do nothing but crouch down behind his wife and placed his hand gently on her back in attempt to calm her.

That was all he could do, and even he couldn’t deny how truly helpless he felt.

An hour later, she injected herself with her hydro spray that helped with the dysmenorrhea she experienced each month and dragged herself out of the bedroom, through the house, and into the car holding a waterproof sick bag. Within seconds of pulling out of the driveway, she was vomiting.

It concerned Sarek just how sick the fertility treatments were making her, but according to the hybrid specialist, this was the only way for them to conceive a child. She was beginning to lose weight, she had no colour in her face, and her energy was fading rather quickly these past couple of days.

After discarding the vomit-filled bag at the steps of the Embassy fifteen minutes later, Amanda caressed her husband’s shoulder gently, managed a small smile and began to walk down the corridor to her office to begin the day. Sarek reached and grabbed her hand gently.

It felt bonier than usual and her nail beds were blue in colour, which caused more concern to run through him. When he looked up at her, he had noticed just how pale her lips had become he was just about to utter just how concerned he was for her when her hand rushed over her mouth. 

She turned and ran down the corridor to the bathroom nearby. His sensitive ears not only picking up on the splashing of vomit in the toilet, but her soft cries.

Repressing his concern, Sarek continued down the main corridor. The further he got down the hallway, something else began to catch his sensitive ears.

“He is beautiful!” someone beamed.

“He is so fat.” another said.

As Sarek turned a corner, he saw the sight of one of his human aides and his wife surrounded by two other human colleagues.

“Ambassador.”

“Mr Espinoza.” Sarek bowed his head and greeted, before turning to his wife, “Mrs Espinoza.”

“Ambassador.” The young woman curtsied. “We just wanted to show everyone our new son.” She said lifting the blanket back over the child’s face to show Sarek.

“I see no harm in that.” Sarek said flatly, looking down at the child in the woman’s arms. He was sleeping peacefully in his mother’s arms, covered in a white bundle.

“Sarek, I’m sorry I ran-“

Everyone turned towards the sound. Amanda stood over the threshold. She tried to keep the small smile on her face, but when her eyes glued to the child in the woman’s arms the smile disappeared and the next expression that fell on her face Sarek knew all too well, for it was sadness.

Sarek could feel the forcefulness through their bond as Amanda forced her lips to curve upward as she looked at Sarek’s aide and forced a wide smile. “Congratulations.” She said softly.

“Thank you, Lady Amanda. Would you like to hold him?”

She was silent, and when Sarek saw tears begin to well in her eyes he thought to momentarily step forward to protect her dignity. After three seconds of silence, she nodded timidly and stepped forward holding her arms out to accept the child.

Mrs Espinoza placed the sleeping child in Amanda’s arms. He cooed in her arms as Amanda looked down at him. His new-born eyes were closed, but he poked his arms out of the blanket and stretched in Amanda’s arms.

“What a big stretch!” Amanda cooed softly to the bundle in her arms.

Through their bond, Amanda’s heart ached, and she fought back the tears. When Sarek failed to understand why holding a child, something she desperately wanted would cause her so much sadness, Amanda did something she hadn’t in months. She let down her mental wall down.

He knew that she wanted a child, but he didn’t realize just how much she wanted one, and suddenly it all came together. Her sadness, her anger, her pain.

“Are you well, Lady Amanda?” Mrs Espinoza asked, “You look a little pale.”

“I am well, thank you.” Amanda answered, the same robotic response she had been answering for months now to anyone who asked. He sensed a wave of distress through their bond as she drew in a calm breath and exhaled calmly a wave of nausea overwhelming her. “He’s beautiful.” She forced out, looking up at the woman, “Have you chosen a name for him yet?” 

“Yes, Benjamin, but we call him Ben.”

“Ben…” She whispered, looking down at the child, “Beautiful Ben.”

“When will you and the Ambassador have children?” Mrs Espinoza asked.

A question that almost made Amanda’s emotions spill over. She looked up at her husband, and even though her eyes welled with tears she forced a smile and looked back down at the child. Anger rose in her at how someone ask such a question so nonchalantly. But it fizzled out as the child opened his eyes and looked up at her. Blue eyes, like his mother.

Her heart filled with warmth as she smiled at the child. A true smile, one that Sarek hadn’t seen for months.

“Soon…” she whispered, still focused on the child in her arms. “…hopefully.”

**Author's Note:**

> A friendly reminder to always be considerate, encouraging and understanding to those couples in your life who are trying for a child.


End file.
